On this day 9 years ago our Camden boy was coming home from the hospital for the first time even though he had been born 3 months prior. You see his actual due date was July 8th, 2006 but I developed a toxic condition in my pregnancy with him that caused the doctors to take him by emergency C-section on April 18th of that year, leaving him 3 months premature. He weighed 1 pound 15 ounces at his birth. He was so fragile that you could actually see his internal organs and skeleton through his skin right after his birth. I was so very sick at the time of his birth that it all is really just a blur to me. It took three days for my own body to rid itself of the toxins after they took Camden so I was not allowed out of my hospital bed until he was 4 days old, but Bryan was able to go down to the NICU and see him during that time. Camden spent three months following his birth in the NICU at Children's Hospital in North Carolina. His lungs had not fully developed in my womb and he, therefore, spent the first two months of his life on a c-pap to help him breath. He had many of the common problems that preemies face such as a low heart rate that would drop and stop when he was sleeping, multiple infections since his immune system was so low and weak and he had to have two blood transfusions during his first couple months of life to help him fight off infections. He was in an incubator for those first couple of months and we were allowed to put our hands through and touch him gently, but he was 2 months old before we were ever allowed to hold him. It is a really difficult thing to sit by helplessly and watch one of your children suffer and yet given his weight and premature age things could have been so much worse for him. I pumped my breast milk at the request of the hospital and took it up to them each day on my visits. They fed my milk to Camden through tubes. He slowly began to gain weight and grow stronger and eventually started fighting off the infections without transfusions.
When he was 8 weeks old I was rushed back to the emergency room and it was discovered that I had multiple blood clots in both of my lungs with an 80 percent blockage in my right lung and 20 percent blockage in my left lung. I had developed the blood clots during his C-section and they had traveled to my lungs. The doctors were in absolute shock that it hadn't killed me. I spent a couple of days in the ICU and then another week in the hospital and was on blood thinners for a year after that.
That year was the most overwhelming and difficult time in our lives that we have ever had to face. We had 5 still very young children at home to care for and Camden in a hospital 45 minutes away from our home. People often ask me how we did it. Honestly, we didn't. God did. He knew just what we needed and he provided for us before we even knew to ask for it. People to clean our home, do our laundry, keep our pantries and refrigerator stocked, bring us meals (for 3 months straight), and help watch our children. Within a week of Camden's birth, we had a pile of preemie clothes in our home and I couldn't even tell you where they came from. We received so many care packages and notes during those months and many cards from people all across the country that we didn't even know, all saying they were praying for us and Camden. Looking back we can see God's fingerprints all over the day to day little details and the big details too. His protection, provision and grace were in abundance even when we didn't realize it or necessarily feel it because of our overwhelming circumstances and never have I ever felt the power of prayer as much as I did during this time. All that to say don't doubt that He is with you during the most difficult of times. He's there, even when you're so overwhelmed that you don't know where your next breath will come from. He's always there and He loves us far beyond what we can even comprehend.
"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8
Remembering with thankfulness all that God has done for us.